Tamed & Damaged Just Durdens
by JrOeKnEeRe
Summary: Jack and Tyler Durden, a competition between two brothers. Nothing to do with fists however, rather than "an uncivilized race for complete rapture," as Tyler puts it. I felt like a tamed puppet having no choice but to obey its charming masters.
1. Crunched Nerves

.

**Tamed & Damaged**

**Just Durdens**

Fight Club

Tyler . Jack

**1**

**Crunched Nerves**

The packing sound of their jaws cracked through the small basement. Tyler ventured the outer lines, the members' backs facing him in all their shining and sweating beauty. He passed behind. I couldn't watch, never could. No matter how loud they screamed, how many times they get their heads slammed into the concrete. These creamed lashes were creating marks into the fragile skin beneath from being shut so tightly. He swept his callused hand briefly across, hair dangled softly after he continued circling the shouting crowd. The final slap brought an ignorant opening. Jack lay on the floor, unaware of the large gush of dark blood resting underneath his forehead.

The opponent lifted himself up and tumbled backwards. The members knew all too well to move, to make a path as soon as Jack rolled to his back and groaned in the same pain he had grown to love. The last member, a beautifully white haired boy, moved his luminescent head to the side. The rest of his sheen physique moved as well and cleared a moist, unsanitary pathway.

I rushed through, bumping into a few of their slick arms. "Jack," and knelt before his ruptured eardrum. "Someone help him up," Bob answered before I could move to the corner set specifically for these reasons. From there, I went to work: grabbing the gauze, antibiotics, needle and medical stitches. "Try not to move."

The needle entered his pale clammy facial skin and came back out with the black wire attached. Tyler walked over but not without encouraging the current fighters on. "How's it Doc?" he asked, patting his brother before leaning closer to see more of the gushing wound.

"It's a pretty deep cut. But with about ten stitches, this one can take on a rematch. No more fighting for at least a week," finished the first five stitches.

Jack smiled. A sheet of blood covering his teeth. "Leave it to you to keep me out of it," he hissed painfully. May have pulled a bit too much.

"Let's go home," Tyler snapped his fingers. His shirt flying shortly after into his grasp. Finished the end knot and placed all the supplies back into their drawers. "Keep going men, we're leaving. See you all next week!" They shout cheerfully in response. We were already above them. Jack leaning heavily for support. Thick sweat strides dripping into my jeans, seeping into the man-made holes above the knees.

The rain poured outside the bar. Its soothing sound was relaxing enough for even Jack to forget some of the pain. His tension melted more as the car's blurry headlights beamed closer. "Just because she's letting you lean on her doesn't mean you're advancing up the ladder," Tyler side glanced. I breathed out hard. A few raindrops actually swayed away from how forceful it was. It's completely ridiculous and somewhat childish for them to make such a competition as this.

A competition between the two brothers, Jack and Tyler. The winning, if it will ever come to an end, no matter how inappropriate or naïve, is me. The way of its flow, acceptance and mere, thrill perhaps is its drive. There was no choice quite frankly. I had no place else to go, to live.

In a more past term, they both found it useful for my joining their club, not through fighting since it was male dominance only, but through my expertise. I was a doctor at the most major hospital the city has. My license was taken when I disobeyed an insurance company's rule. A patient of mine was dying from lung disease and their insurance didn't cover the operation. I felt it was my duty, my place to ignore the company and go ahead with the surgery without charging the patient. Of course, they found out and dropped my eight years of schooling down the sewage pump. Tyler found me first, introduced to Jack, they offered a place to stay and now, I'm their club's personal doctor who doesn't ask questions.

So, this so called "uncivilized race for complete rapture," as Tyler puts it, started out as a fun joke we'd play around with. I'd be washing dishes and either Tyler or Jack would grab me from the water and twirl around the room shouting how many points they were receiving. But after a certain incident with Tyler getting a little too close in his bedroom, Jack turned it into something completely different. And eventually Tyler followed its intensity and serious context, to his degree. Those witnessing all of this think it's some glorious delusion but they couldn't be more wrong. This wasn't some fantastical battle between two knights fighting for a princess, this was some medieval torture war with an unbalanced favor for violence and jealousy.

There are some moments when the joking comes though. I always try to push the constant measure of its forth coming but either Tyler or Jack ignores such an attempt and turns it around. Today was one of those days. The drive to our misunderstood palace was like the ultimate shift from their fun loving selves to an uncomfortable obstacle. I sat in the middle, unsurprisingly, while Tyler drove with his hand visibly grasping the edge of my left knee and Jack's arm pressing rather tightly into my side and hip. Squished and sloping into annoyed. I felt like a tamed puppet having no choice but to obey its charming masters.

"The men had some fights today huh?" this won't work but I'd rather try. "I could tell by how fast they rotated. I mean usually they take their time between fights but today was different. What do you think Jack?"

He stayed like a marine. Tired gaze held forward, square jaw and long neck. Those dark circles were so enhanced from his pale skin. Tyler, on the other hand, could never be pale. Not with that tanned pigmentation. I'll never understand how he could achieve such a beautiful color. "Yea, knew you'd agreed."

"I think you should sleep in my room tonight," Tyler rolled into our deserted road, leaving the controversial statement picking at everyone's nerves.


	2. Shattered Rum

**.**

**2**

**Shattered Rum**

It had to be now.

Tonight especially. Jack was hurt and his stitches needed to be checked throughout the night. Our medical supplies were just "hand-me-downs" from the state hospital, at least that's what Tyler tells us. But the stitches were going to wear out the moment Jack rolled over on his pillow or brushed his teeth. It would be okay if he didn't brush so vigorously but that's not him. Tyler knows this, which is exactly why he's pushing a fight between them. And once again, I'm trapped in the middle, of the car seat.

"You're something else Tyler," Jack leaned forward just so they could see the effect their words had on each other. "You know she has to stay with me tonight, especially with your shit stitches holding my face together."

"Shit? No, the stitches aren't shit, this is just another excuse. It's so easy to not have them re-open, just lay still. And maybe resist from having those wet dreams you've so frequently been having."

"Oh, you're so clever Tyler, _so_ clever and so wrong, you're the one who has those. That's why she has to sleep on the couch so much because of the disgusting mess left on your mattress."

"That was one night! And it wasn't because of your ridiculous assumption, she had to sleep downstairs because of your constant night speeches and horrible bear snores. I swear you could wake the neighbors up and we don't even have neighbors!"

Inside our secluded castle, the phone goes off, ringing through the cracked walls and reaching past their immature quarrel. The perfect escape. Pushing Jack's arm back, somehow managing to rise up to my knees and crawl across Tyler's lap, I seized the moment. Raced through the glassed pavement and barged inside. Barefoot. Where were my shoes?

I screamed as loud as the pain would allow.

The Omega of every single shard of glass I had just run through, just so happened to pierce through my right sole. "Jesus! Oh god, that hurts!" Before even reaching the phone's connector, I collapsed to the floor and instinctively forced the foot up to my face.

The ringing stopped the moment Jack and Tyler scrambled through the narrow doorway. Jack almost falling from Tyler insisting on being the first through. He slid next to me as I cradled the searing foot. "Alright, let me see," Tyler, so calm, just watches a droplet of blood seep to the floor. Just missing his shoes.

"No, don't touch it!"

I felt like a child who had just gotten her first paper cut. But when you're a doctor and you, yourself, get hurt. It's a whole nother ball game.

"See, damn it, this is what happens when you throw your rum bottles in the sidewalk and not in the yard," Jack knelt opposite, both of them boring their attention into the yoga position currently giving me no relief. "How are you doing that?"

"Why the hell are you asking her that when a huge piece of glass is stuck up her skin?"

"Stop! Someone go get some gauze!"

"Where is it?" Jack sprung to his feet.

"Your room, in the medical cabinet," a big wad of spit I had kept for quite some time finally fell back down. He jumped over Tyler's legs and rushed up the stairs, you could hear his stomping all the way until he reached the bathroom.

"You'll be alright kiddo," Tyler rest against the wall. Sneaking his arm between the stained wallpaper and along my spine, pulling us together. Obviously being his plan to drape my leg over him. "You probably shouldn't have crawled over us and left your shoes on Jack's lap."

"Yea well, how else was I going to get you two to shut up? Slicing my foot in half seemed to be the only answer and I just went with it."

He snickered, brushing his hand over my ankle and grazing the meta-tarsals. It almost seemed like he was trying to set them on fire from the the friction. Is this supposed to be a massage or something?

"What are you-AH! Tyler!" he had leaned forward and plucked the shard right out as if it was just a piece of debris. That did it, the burning tears now streamed down and joined Tyler's already soaked pants. He bent low and kissed the top of my toes only to have me yank them away before he could linger anymore. "You didn't even warn me!"

"The anticipation is worst than the actual performance sweetheart. I saved you the torment."

"You saved me the chance to remove it properly," the bleeding had stopped but now it was vulnerable to infection.

Just then, Jack leaped over the decayed railing, flopped down in front us and opened the aid kit looking from Tyler to me. "What?"

Sliding the box out of his hands and searching for the Neosporin myself. "Your brother decided to take matters into his own hands and dangerously removed the glass himself," found it, now where's the gauze?

"He did what?" Jack took Tyler's spot in the same instant. Almost like they read each other's minds.

"She's being over dramatic," he stood, stretched his arms towards the ceiling then down to his toes and squatting before our feet.

"I don't blame her. You're not qualified to even think about what to do for something like this," Jack dragged his clammy hand along the side of my foot. "This is serious, you could have really injured her, even more than she already is," and observed the sealed laceration.

Just as Tyler was about to open his bruised lips, the phone rang. He merely stared at the object but soon succumbed to the annoying sound. Purposely placing his legs outside both mine, he leaned towards the wall so his crotch would hover above my hairline. "Tyler Durden," he seductively answered. Jack rolled his eyes, picking at his blood-crusted teeth with his already crusted fingernail and flipping it back out with the middle finger pointed at Tyler, who simply chuckles. I smacked his leg and pushed it away. He let me but as soon as I stood, he pulled on my jacket. Giving no choice but to lean into him, face to face. "It's for you," he slowly removed it from his ear and pressed it up against mine. It almost fell if I hadn't caught it; Tyler was currently wrapping his arms around my back and leaning us even more into the wall. Well his back was, my front was being forced into his physique.

"Hello? Am I speaking to a Ms. Ryder, a Ms. _Devyn_ Ryder? Hello?" an impatient voice had been repeating this over and over, I hadn't noticed.

"Yes sorry, who is this?" my nose briefly ran into his, trying to get some kind of room to breathe. Jack circled around, spewing daggers into Tyler's face who only grinned in return, mouthing how many points this counted as. He squeezed tighter, too tight. As I've mentioned before, this isn't some fantasized situation, sensual vacation or some perverted desire to be worshiped. This was a sarcastically possessive and idiotically restricting battle that challenged my every tolerant bone. No one could enjoy this even if it was Tyler.

"Ms. Ryder?"

Eight years just to get the Dr. in front of the name and now I'm back to Miss.

"Yes, this is she."

"This is Dr. Grant, chief president of the surgical division here at Los Angeles General. We opened up our records today and it seems we have a bit of a mix up in terms of your previous lawsuit."

"Could you hold for one second please?"

"Yes."

As sternly as I possible could. "Tyler, let me go." He knew that tone, completely serious and beginning to get pissed off. It's not something to push. Slipping his arms back, sliding against the wall, he spun around, bowed hastily then waltzed into the kitchen where Jack was trying to concentrate on writing in his little haiku collection.

"I'm sorry, please continue," I had to cover my other ear to avoid Tyler moving dishes around for the new soap mixture.

"Yes, as I said, we recently brought up your case. The insurance company's-"

"I know my case, what is it that you found?"

"Well, after your trial, it seems the lawsuit did not follow through with certain aspects."

"Aspects?"

"Yes, it successfully removed your license as it was meant to do but did not withhold your last commission from the patient's operation."

"I'm sorry? You must be mistaken, that was never, a part of the company's statement at the court hearing. I-"

"It says here that the company's lawyer did in fact state this to the jury and judge at the preliminary."

"No-that- I wasn't present at the preliminary, it's not allowed for the respondent to-"

"Yes, I understand. I am just calling to inform you that we have withdrawn the commission from your bank account and everything is as it should be. Also, we could not find an accurate phone number to notify you. But now that we are speaking, the hospital has agreed to suspend your pension until they are able to undo some liability concerns. We apologize for such a late response, we are quite aware that it has been three months since your court hearing but all is settled now. You will not hear from us again and we hope you have a pleasant year. Thank you, goodbye."

He hung up, leaving the connection in complete silence. Slowly and numbly, I set the phone back onto the receiver and stood staring at the back room. The only one that had a small fragment of how beautiful this house once was. A black stairway leading up to a small skylight which narrowed in on clear constellations.

What just happened?

How could they do this? I put my life into that hospital and they dump me over a policy.

That last commission was all I had left after paying the company their $350,000 for the patient's surgery, plus another $50,000 for what the hospital called "malpractice." I had to sell almost everything I owned in order to pay for all of it, if I hadn't they would have sentenced a temporary arrest warrant.

There's nothing left.

Tyler poured a fresh batch of lye into a plastic cylinder and set it in our warm refrigerator. "Who was on the phone?"

I limped into the kitchen, scooted a chair next to Jack's and collapsed into it. He moved his poems to the middle of the table and shifted his seat so he could face me. I just stared at his pencil scribblings, fiddled with Tyler's coffee robe covering the table like a cloth and tried not to lapse into feverish shock.

"Devyn?" Jack stroked my arm, his usual nurturing gesture. "What happened?"

No reaction, first stage of denial.

Were my hands shaking?

No, keep it together, don't go any further or it could move into the second stage, fainting or austere detachment. There's nothing left. I have nothing left.

"Hey," Tyler knelt down, taking my face in his hands. The gloves were set by Jack's papers, still dripping with fat remnants. "Devyn? What's wrong?"

"Maybe we should take her to her room," Jack whisked my hair over to the side and placed his palm against the length of my neck, feeling the sudden heat. "She's really warm." Without answering, Tyler scooped me up, snaked his other arm behind my back and firmly lifted me from the chair. Arm automatically wrapped around his neck, molded into his chest, the fear of falling was there but faint. I didn't like being this way.

"We're not taking her to that shabby couch. She's sleeping with me. I can stay awake and watch over her."

"Fine, I don't care, just look after her and don't you dare fall asleep. If anything happens, promise you'll come get me," he walked behind as a precaution. We climbed the stairs, surprisingly reaching the top with ease. Jack opened the door with Tyler cautiously entering through and setting me down onto the mattress.

"I'll keep the door open, go get some sleep Jack," he brought the cleanest blanket we had up to my chin. "You too Devyn."

I already was. They'll want to know what happened in the morning but for now, I needed time.


	3. Beaucóup Very Much

**.**

**3**

**Beaucóup**

**"Very Much"**

The best part was coming.

The blurred frame was already floating around to force more details.

She trots faster and faster. Feeling the pleasurable breeze soar through her black mane as she races. The cliff's edge comes into view. You want to stop her, pull back on the reins. But something won't let you. The dream wants to go further, it wants you to feel the heart thumping, sweat poring and nauseating kick when you fall. She leaps into the air, strong back legs just releasing land. Blue ocean below. Then you start to feel it. The moment before it happens, the instant you feel your body weightlessly hovering in the air, you wake up. Sometimes from the kick or the jerk but other times your eyes simply just flash open. Not for me. As soon as I felt the kick, I physically kicked my foot. The wounded one.

"Shit!"

Fully awake now. Takes awhile to realize what just happened. And then...

"Jack? Oh Jack, I'm so sorry!"

He held his nose at the end of the bed. "It's alright," he tried to say without nasal dialect. I gently pulled his hands away and observed for myself. No blood, the pain was inside. "I was trying to change your bandages. Your foot probably hurts a lot more now though. It kicked me pretty hard."

"I didn't mean to," I knelt on the edge, briefly glancing behind at the semi-bandaged foot. "I'm not even sure if I felt anything. How bad does it feel?"

He smiled weakly, now sitting on the mattress and squeezing the brim of his nose. "It doesn't feel too bad. Don't worry about it."

Something's missing here.

"Where's Tyler?"

As if just remembering himself, something snapped. He morphed. Gray eyes were practically hurling knives into Tyler's unmoved pillow. He could very easily turn into the Hulk right now. "_He left_."

"Oh," try not to make a big deal out of it. "That's okay, no problem-"

"No, it is a problem! He said he was going to watch you through the night and he just left! The bandages had pus all over them, they were falling off, he was supposed to change them!"

"You guys don't have to babysit when I get hurt. It's really okay Jack. As long as I changed them in the morning-"

"It's not okay! He's so fucking irresponsible. He didn't just leave this morning you know, he left not but a few minutes after putting you in here. And he was so protective, so sweet last night, cradling you, it was all just an act. Getting as many points as he could. He doesn't think! The game stops when something like this happens. It's just a game for the love of god!"

Tyler _would_ do everything he just said. And if he actually _did _every single one, I wouldn't doubt it. But according to last night, I probably didn't even comprehend what was going on. I wasn't all there.

He kept going. "And how long is this going to go on for? Is he going to shout who's winning while you're bleeding to death? This probably doesn't even mean anything to him, just something fun to pass the time-"

"Jack!" he trips and falls to the bed. I might have tugged too hard. The floor was going to wear with all his pacing. "Calm down. I'm sure he'll be back soon and when he does you can give him hell. But for now, just relax. Let me take a look at those stitches." He groaned quietly but relaxed so I could move his neck.

Pus around the outer area, the inside was closing rather nicely. It just needs some antibiotics. The stitches survived the night. "You didn't brush your teeth did you?"

Guilty smirk. "You know me way too well," desperate chuckle. "_But_ when your doctor isn't available, you make do." He circled around, knelt in front and breathed out through his nose. We met in a friendly stare while his fingers slowly began dancing on top of my knees.

"Better than you know yourself."

"I can believe that."

Innocent banter always helps relieve tension.

The dancing stopped and flattened. My skin was beneath his. Staring innocently. He knew exactly what he was doing. But he also knew how I felt about Switzerland. Always neutral, trying to stay the same and keep everything going the way it should. This was all I had; I didn't have anywhere else to go. If one thing went wrong between any of us, it could end badly.

So, as usual, he looked away, forgot the arousing, evocative thoughts and spoke. "You hungry?" Only Jack could do this.

I shook my head, thanking him with one look. He wanted to smile in return, to let it go but he could only stand. I knew what he was thinking. He didn't have the guts, wasn't as good looking, would never get what he wanted, would always be second best, the shadow. I wanted to tell him differently but that would mean something else to him.

"Let's put some medicine on there before we do anything okay?"

He walked out before I even stood, nodding feebly to himself.

This right here. This low self-esteem, not as bad as it was before he met Tyler, is a constant battle for him. But then again, it was mine too. Not Tyler though, he was the strongest. He didn't care what people thought, how he should look, whether he had clean or dirty shower water or the huge stack of concrete piled up to keep the bathroom from caving in.

He's comfortable with who he is. Nothing bothers him. Except one thing. No, not one thing, a whole cluster full of things. But still, they weren't about _him_. That ship already sailed. They were about society's bystanders, well everything about society really, the economy, consumerism, politics. An anarchist's playground. He hated when I called him one but in all honest truth; he was. Jack was hesitantly on his way, you could see him absorb Tyler's words into his person as if it were oxygen.

And out of all of Tyler's somewhat ingenious remarks, one popped up as I held a staring contest with one of his kitchen gloves: "Only after disaster can we be resurrected."

A loud shattering crash made me jump up and race towards the window. I had to wipe the blinding dirt with a blanket to see. Peering through, Tyler had thrown an empty Coke bottle in the yard. At least he remembered the yard instead of the pathway. Strutting towards the door with the same indifferent confidence.

Better go patch the other Durden up before they get into it.

Even though my presence will be completely ignored, I'm still going to add my two-sense. If something like this made Jack so upset then it's worth it. I've never seen him so enraged before.

"What?"

Jack stood in front of his grimed mirror, trying to rip the stitches out himself. "What do you think you're doing!" I nearly ran into him, despite limping, yanked his hands away and pressed my own on top of the oozing gash. A few thick layers of blood poured over my knuckles. "I told you we needed to put medicine on it, not take them out!"

"Stop yelling," he sucks in sharply as I press harder. "I thought I could-"

"Shut up! You're making them tear your face apart. Just don't talk," one hand on him, the other frantically searching for the antibiotics and bandages. "I can't believe- OW!" The very tip, where Jack started to work, was poking out and stupid me, I didn't see the sharp wire. It didn't go in very deep though.

"What! Oh shit Devyn, I'm sorry! Let me-" he tried to reach but I slapped his hand and ignored mine. His was still bleeding thick blood lines while mine streaked thinner ones.

"It's fine, don't move or speak. I'm trying to fix the damage."

Grab the gauze, press it to the wound, find the forceps, move the gauze down, try to insert the suture back into the skin. "Don't you ever do this again," glare as harsh as you can.

"What the hell?"

"Don't ask," already knew who it was before he opened his mouth.

"Don't have to. You trying to beat yourself up again little brother?" Tyler laughed, sliding in between the door and sink. His tousled spikes smashed up against the green wallpaper as he leaned back.

Jack watched him, opened his mouth again but- "No." I gently tapped the other side of his face before he could. "Don't talk to him Tyler, if he talks I'll lose the wire completely."

"Terribly sorry," he grabbed onto the rest of the gauze, rolled it up into a ball and tossed it up and down. "_So_, what happened?"

Jack and I met an understanding through another synchronized gander. "Nothing you should be concerned about," he narrowed his eyes in a gracious manner.

"Uh huh," Tyler plays with his gum, almost losing it to the floor. "I saw that little look you two just shared. _But_, whatever, you don't have to tell me. I'll just assume Jack thought he could take the stitches out himself and ended up ripping them the wrong way. Or something."

Finished. Tape the new bandage on top so he doesn't fiddle with it again. It'll hurt when we take it off but it's no more than he deserves.

"Done, you can talk now unfortunately," I threw the tools back into the kit and maneuvered around.

"Hey," but he grabbed me before I could walk out. "Thank you."

He meant it but I wasn't in the mood to show gratitude. "Remember what I said, do it again and I'll personally rip them out for you."

His crusted smile met my sneer.

"I knew it!" Tyler laughed. "And you guys gave me all that crap for taking that tiny little tinker out last night." He shows how small the glass piece was with his fingers, an obvious exaggeration, before roughly patting Jack on the head and sprinting out. I was right on his tail but didn't follow completely. He went to his room, I went downstairs.

Passing the blood stain below the phone, entering the bright kitchen, my stomach growled. The fridge was warmer than usual, it was a target for the sun today. Another growl. The only thing that held a small interest was leftover noodle soup. Tyler's specialty. Anything that's more of a liquid substance mixed with a solid is his specialty.

A violent black wave dangled in front of the view, snagging onto my upper eyelid. It was only this vicious because of all the stress corrupting its normal texture.

"Well, well," Tyler popped his head over the yellow door. I had no choice but to play hot potato and try to prevent the soup from crashing all over the floor. Successfully caught its very corner and brought the container into my ribs. "Didn't mean to scare you," he closed the door and stood in front. "Soup huh? Good choice. Heat some up for me too."

He crossed his arms. The old and ragged coffee robe hid the obvious muscles beneath, with only his iridescent smiley face boxers on. Just this very image would make any woman go light-headed and have the hardest time removing his husky bod from their sight. Unfortunately I was one of them. But in light of the situation before-hand, I had an easier time dragging my eyes away and focusing on the microwave.

"That took a lot didn't it?"

He doesn't miss a thing.

"May I suggest not fighting," he leaned closer, taming the coiled strand by smoothing it within his own fingers and straightening the curl as he pulled it down. Coming dangerously close to touching my breasts. "Just run with it," and allures with such dexterity.

He could have easily leaned closer and 'accidentally' grazed across the bra's under-wire but he doesn't. Not because of his doing of course, but mine. I snuck my hand up his chest and pushed him back. "Do you want me to heat up your soup or not?" No sarcasm or implied sensuality attached.

"What's up with you two?" he moved to the side. "Is it hate Tyler day or something? Jack nearly bit my head off when I threw a blanket on the bed. And your- Is it that time of the month? I know Jack's on his."

How long do I put this for? Maybe 2 minutes, this microwave gets really hot though. I'll have to watch it.

"Hello?" Tyler shimmied his hand in front of the timer.

"What?" press start.

"No need to give attitude. If you require more of your lady things, I'll have Jack run to 711 and get some."

"I'm not on my peri-"

"Shh," he looked away with childish disgust. "Don't say it. Why do they even call it that? It's like calling a penis, a dick. A dick is a shortened abbreviation for a detective. There's no relation. It's what the long years of vulgar slang morphed the word into- Where are you going?"

"Your soup, you watch."

"Devyn, what's-hey!"

I was already out the back door and tripping through the messy garden. What is it with men and that subject?


	4. Platinum Fear & Piggyback Rides

**.**

**4**

**Platinum Fear**

**Piggyback Rides**

The buffaloes run freely

No predators, no reins

Whites imprison; Natives release.

Not one of his best works, obviously one of his first poems. Why is this in my pocket? Wait, this isn't mine. Dark blue sports jacket, no hood, the zipper gets stuck in the middle: Jack's. It's rather feeble that our clothes get mixed together. Actually, now that I think of it, Tyler _was_ wearing one of my old sleep shirts to make soap in. He didn't even ask-

"Dr. Ryder?"

"What?" Almost fell from one of the sandbox edges digging into my ankle. Only to be blinded by the sun's reflective rays mirroring the beautiful platinum mane.

"I'm sorry," he quickly steadied us both from plummeting to the weed infested yard.

"Angel! God, why did you- you scared the-"

"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he smiled boyishly but soon noticed how tense I was under his grip and instantly let go. "I uh-"

"Tyler's inside," he stepped with me as I tried to move around him.

"I'm not here for Tyler."

Move to the right, he moves to the right.

"I came to see you actually."

Back away, he steps closer.

_What is he doing?_

"Yea, I, well, need your professional help on something. Advice actually."

"Advice? Do we have to do this now, it's actually a bad-"

"No, this can't wait," his arctic blue orbs were practically bulging.

He's always been sweet to me and I always try to be polite to him but he's crossing a line. We're acquaintances not close friends. "I'm sure it can. Just sleep on whatever's bothering you and I'll be more than happy to help later-"

"But it's about Fight Club. You see, I can't do one of the tasks Tyler-"

"There a problem here?" Tyler leaned against the door frame, no longer in his teasing wardrobe but his usual army pants and red Hawaiian shirt.

"No sir, I was just- I wanted to talk to our doctor but now might be a bad time. Sorry sir," he backed away, looking from me to Tyler in an almost excited fear. By the time I could send a questioning stare his way, he was already opening the door to an old gray Volvo.

"Come on, your soup is ready," Tyler's focus was still on Angel as he tapped the stained glass before shuffling inside. His white slippers glided across the wood like ice skates. He waited until I walked through the inside porch to say. "This has to be the best batch I ever made. Although I think Jack put in some funky herbs that spiced it up a bit too much."

"Why was he calling you sir?"

A spoonful of soup dripped back to the bowl. He watched as I crossed the kitchen. "What?" and plopped down on the chair.

"And what did he mean by task?"

"Hmm? I didn't hear him. Just a bunch of mumblings to me."

"He looked scared too. Jittery and nervous. He said he needed my advice-"

"It's probably nothing. Your soup is getting cold," his rusted utensil danced above another bowl placed across from his.

"I'm not hungry."

Such a lie. I hadn't eaten since before we drove to Saturday's fight gathering. And that was just sourdough toast Tyler threw at us.

"You're lying," he kicked a chair towards my feet. "Sit down and eat. Feed yourself before you collapse again. I'm not always going to be there to dangle my socks over your nose. That seems to be the only thing that works for you. Every time," a small chuckle followed from the memory.

He doesn't care about this. It's about doing something for him tonight that'll require energy. Most likely something that has to do with why Angel was here. Something for the club. You can tell by how he looped around my questions and how fast he talked. I still sat down though, slowly directing the spoon towards my mouth. Don't want to show too much of this savage hunger. He doesn't need to know he was right.

"Good huh?"

A simple nod.

"_So_ since we're both sitting nicely at our beautiful dining table, how about you tell me what happened last night? What could have possibly made you shut down like that? It was the phone call wasn't-"

"Devyn, have you seen my blue-" Jack walked in, buttoning his shirt but stopped as soon as he saw. "Oh-"

Anything to avoid Tyler's interrogations. "Do you want it? I need to find where my jacket went off to anyway-"

"No, it's okay."

My arm was already out, might as well keep going. "Too late," I sung, taking it off completely.

"You don't have to-" But I silenced him with the jacket landing perfectly on his shoulder. The sleeve slapped him across the mouth first.

Tyler snorted. "Try doing that again," and slurped his soup noisily.

Jack ignored him, searching through the cabinets for breakfast food. There were none. "Who were you two talking with earlier?"

I stretched as far as I could without falling, grabbed his hand and guided him to my seat. "You can have the rest of this." He let me do it too surprisingly. We switched places; him in the seat and me by the counter. "Platinum came," only I seemed to call him this. "It was kind of weird the way he-"

"You really need to eat more than just a few sips Devyn," Tyler stood and skated over to the sink.

"She was talking," Jack spat, catching us both by surprise. Something is truly bothering him. And it's not just about Tyler's irresponsibility.

"Jeez man, you really _are_ on your monthly rag. Did you ever think that I'm just concerned about her health? It's a more important subject than some random visit from-"

More understated babbling. He wasn't concerned, what are these two doing? Why am I the only one that feels totally left out from the real meaning behind all this?

"Why don't you let her finish-"

"Fine. Devyn would you like to continue?" I barely opened my mouth. "Alright then," before he smacked the water faucet and hunched over the sink.

Jack clenched his spoon tighter but his glare melted away as we caught each other's gaze. All I had to do was widen my eyes, dramatically suck in one of my cheeks to say. 'I agree he's being an ass,' and bite down to show more aggravation. And all he had to do was curve a half smile. I only wish I could read him well enough to know what's behind their bickering.

Tyler punched the water off, turned on his heel and leaned back. Staring hard into my strongly padded socks. They were easily within his range of vision since I was sitting on the counter, an equal distance between the two steaming siblings. Jack took another sip before finishing the soup completely. Then gets up, drags his free hand across my legs before throwing his dish on top of Tyler's clean one. He was about to start for the back door but I playfully blocked him with my feet. "Where are you going?" and pulled him in with their monkey skills.

"For a walk," he unwrapped them but only for me to stop him again.

"Can I come?"

He already knew what I was going to do before I even asked so he turned his back to me and waited for it to come. Tyler watched from a close distance, silent and awkward. I couldn't tell what he was thinking but quite frankly, I didn't care. I just scooted closer, determined the appropriate distance and pounced. Jack instantly catching my shins while I gently but efficiently wrapped my arms around his shoulders, clasping them together under his neck.

The esteemed craft of Piggyback Rides may be really hard for some people but Jack was actually good at them. His slim, almost scrawny physique deceives everyone. In actuality he has the stamina of a swimmer. Of course, he would never admit to having such a thing. But this is exactly what many people would never connect to him which gives a silent advantage over his opponents in fights. I may not be able to watch but it's obvious.

Plus, he knew I wouldn't be able to keep up unless he carried me part of the way. The whole glass incident which Tyler had apparently forgot the moment he dropped me in his room before wandering someplace else? Yea, it's been keeping me from daily functions. And on top of this, Tyler is still forgetting since tonight's activity will require physical movement when I can't even walk down our poor stairs without clinging to the broken railing for dear life.

"You think he knows we're mad at him?" Jack added a bounce to his step to reposition me higher. An easier carrier.

"Yes, did you see how quiet he was? Usually he would have just grabbed me from your back, flipped me over his shoulder and you'd chase him. This used to be fun until-"

"Yea I know, I ruined it. Don't ask me why because I couldn't tell you what came over me that night. Tyler just, he got too close to you-" He stopped.

The time when I could happily sleep on the somewhat comfortable couch without worrying whose bed I'd wake up in. Sometimes I feel like their personal doll, the way they carry me around even sleeping. And I'm not a lightweight either.

Speaking of which, we've walked five minutes and Jack was starting to slow pace. It was time to give a rest. Without warning, I wiggled down his back. He jerked slightly but relaxed as soon as I snaked my arm around his waist and leaned in for support. "He wants to do something tonight."

"Of course he does. Before we went to the club, he said something about needing more fat for soap. But really, you're not going to be able to do anything for a few days. I'm not one to say but-"

"No you're right. This won't get an infection but it needs time to heal which means I'm going to be stuck here awhile. So if you go with Tyler tonight, you guys have to get food. His soup was the last batch and the last piece of nourishment in the entire house."

Some walk. We hadn't even reached the next street yet and I was already feeling it.

"Jack-"

"I know, let's turn back. We've gone too far anyway. And no, I'm not going anywhere tonight. There's no way you're sleeping in any room but mine. I don't care if Tyler puts up a fight, he's not going to win this one-"

"You worry too much-"

"Maybe I should worry more," he growled. No, he snarled, ground his teeth and spoke with so much fierceness, you could see him shaking. Something is seriously wrong.

"Hey," we almost went down if he hadn't grabbed my shoulders like Angel did earlier, balancing both. I stood before him, blocking the way. "What's going on with you? And don't tell me this is about what Tyler did last night. This is completely different."

"It's nothing."

I was the platinum nuisance now. He moved to the left, I moved. Right, right. Back, closer.

"Will you let me by-"

"No, not until you tell me what's bothering you. I've never seen you like this-"

"It's nothing!"

"It's not nothing! I know when you're lying and right now, this is you lying."

"I'm not lying! Just let this go. We'll talk about it later."

"Later when Jack? When do we actually have privacy like this, when it's just you and me? Tyler is always with us-"

"That's just it Devyn! Tyler's _alway_s with us, with you. I can never, we can never- You have no idea what it's like for me to act like this is all okay. Yes, I was the one who pushed this "game" to a whole new level. But he made it into some kind of war! And he knew, he _knew_ how I felt about you before I could do anything about it. And now, now we can never be what I wanted without- Oh fuck this-"

He pulled me in and destructively slapped our lips together. His hands wrapped tightly around my arms like men did in old movies with their damsels. The awkward smash of their two bodies. I didn't know whether I should be like a brick wall or just endure how hard he pressed us together.


	5. Monkeys Thrown into Space

**.**

**5**

**Monkeys Thrown into Space**

Nearly tripped over the single step leading through the back door, had to use the kitchen chairs to swerve around Tyler and finally waddle up the stairs. Jack was either still outside or right on my tail. Either way, I needed to be alone. I knew what had just happened but couldn't figure out how to deal. For now all I could do was slam the door shut and fall into it. Back straight, arms crossed, body stiffer than Jack's style of kissing.

Great, just great. I should have known not to do this. It was habit, coming straight to his room. It's usually Tyler who does things like this. And now, I was stuck in the one person's room I was trying hide from.

"Devyn," and _he_ was now banging on the door. "Devyn please, I'm sorry!"

They can push this game to its limits but I can't. I have to remain this toy without batteries, unable to move anywhere without being carried. But the moment someone puts the negatives to the negatives and positives to the positives, everything changes. Jack may care but Tyler, I'm sure he can find another desperate woman to take my spot. Any medical student who just couldn't cut it in her residency. All he would have to do is just show up at her door and she'll be his. One look at Tyler would do any woman in.

And I hit the floor shrieking.

"Alright, what's going on?" Tyler had thrown his body against the door. The bolts were so ancient as to break from one shove. Jack scrambled inside before actually tripping over me.

"Are you okay?" he pushed himself back up, examining my foot more than anything. "I told you I got this Tyler!"

"What did you do Jack? I haven't seen her move that fast since Jeremy slammed your skull into the pavement."

"Get out!"

"Uh no," he nudged him slightly to the side before lifting me off the floor. I had to steady myself twice before re-balancing the weight from the foot. Tyler looked me over before stumbling back from a little push of my own. "Hey."

I could still hear him mumble as I ran for the closest bathroom. If I hadn't paid the water bill, I'd be showering in filth. Thank god I did because it's the last payment for a long time. No one came in, no one knocked. They were actually going to give privacy.

Clothes were off, shower was on, foot was unwrapped and the heat felt good. The water pressure was horrible but I could care less. This was the only place I could be alone with my thoughts. Such a thing didn't and couldn't last.

"Talk," Tyler closed the door behind him. "Jack shut himself in his room so we're safe."

The shampoo's plain scent rose to the high ceiling, lingering behind the curtain. "There's nothing to talk about," rubbing it harder and harder into my scalp. No use telling him to leave, he won't go that easily. "If you're going to be in here, hand me your razor." Men razors are so much more efficient than what they give women. It's rather unfair. Quite simply, from these current thoughts being displayed, I don't have any nerves or anxiety issues whenever one of them is in here and I'm naked in the shower.

The first time was an accident. Jack backed out the door so fast, he almost fumbled over his own feet. He saw nothing. It was just the fact that I was showering in the same room he happened to be in. Tyler's accidental entrance, of course, he stayed inside. Picking up a conversation. I don't think I've ever stuttered so much in my life. But this, this was natural and unfortunately something I've long gotten used to. Not once had they looked though. Maybe Tyler peeked a little but nothing that would cause womanly fear.

His hand poked inside with the razor, I quickly snatched it and set it aside.

"How's the water?"

"Didn't you have to do something for the club tonight?"

"Not anymore."

"Why's that?"

"If you're not coming and Jack's not either, why go? Besides, with you injuring your foot and all, might not be the best decision. Thought I forgot huh?"

"Tyler?"

"Hmm?"

"Could you tell me why your hand still needs to be inside the shower? Or do you need it there to talk?"

It remained all the while and I'm pretty sure I shaved yesterday. I should have checked before asking.

"Maybe I'm deciding something-"

"Decide outside-"

The door slammed again. Jack now joining our hoorah. No privacy whatsoever.

"Someone's at the door and it's probably for you Tyler."

Hand removed.

"Did you answer it to be sure?"

"No."

"Of course you didn't. Don't move Devyn, we're not done."

Shampoo in my eye. It burns! Don't scrub, it only makes it worst. Tyler already left, Jack was closing the door and I was rubbing the eyeball back into my brain.

"It doesn't help that this is the only bathroom with water pressure. So we're going to have to talk sooner or later. How many times do I need to apologize? It should have never happened, I wasn't thinking-"

"You don't need to apologize. You shouldn't have to and I don't want you to," shampoo out, eye's swollen and red. Just breathe. If this has to happen while I'm naked and he's just a few feet away than fine. "I knew how you felt long before all of this happened. But we couldn't- Tyler's- he's unpredictable, you know this. If something went wrong, I'd have nowhere to go. He could find someone else to fix the guys up. I'm easily replaceable-"

"The hell you are-"

"Just don't talk okay? Let me finish my thought."

This isn't going to be an effective cleaning. And there probably won't be any clean water for the next month.

Don't avoid what you need to say. "Everything has to stay the same. Keep acting as though nothing happened. I can't take the risk you want me to Jack."

The faucet spluttered out its normal clog of spray before running smoothly. The cabinet opened, toothbrush ran under water, vigorous brushing follows suit.

"Jack?"

Spits loudly. Faucet off. Brush placed back. Fastest cleaning done.

"Devyn I need to- Tyler! Don't you knock!"

"Look who's talking. Hey, you in the shower, we have guests so don't come out indecent."

"_Guests_? We never have guests."

"We do now!" Tyler slapped Jack against the chest playfully before running to the hallway. Such a frequent gesture.

And just as I was about to say his name, he already knew. "I'll go see-"

"Wait!" I pulled the curtain back enough to poke out. He nearly closed his eyes, expecting me to come out completely before realizing it was just my soaking head. "Could you go get my pajamas please?"

Before I could tell him which ones, he left and reappeared with them dangling over his arm like a towel would a waiter. "These?"

Old college tank, black and silver star pants, those were it.

"How-"

"I already told you, you're staying with me tonight. I brought your stuff in here when you were down in the kitchen." He had to raise his voice as I went under the loud stream of water. The sound of droplets no longer hitting the tub; I'm done with this scene. Turned off the shower and wrung the somewhat tangled hair tightly around until it seemed dry enough.

Another request was shadowed when one of our softest towels flung over the railing. "I'll wait outside-"

"It's not like you haven't seen me in a towel before Jack. When you live in the same house with two men who lack the manner of knocking with one working bathroom, you adjust." Curtain pulled all the way, chilling floor beneath high tiptoes, trying to make it across without slipping. Jack was glued to the entire attempt, trying to avoid any flush color from rising against his cheeks. Mine wasn't showing any less either.

I may have been adjusted but I still get embarrassed when someone watches intensely. And this one was watching too intensely. "You can go check who's here now," a little bossy, no less desirable. I was getting cold. He jerked into life. Some deep world he must have been in.

. . .

"What do you take me for?"

"What should I take you for?"

"Tell me what this is and I'll tell you what you should-"

"Guys!" Cold water still swam down my skin, straight into the cave-line of cleavage. Tyler and Jack stood at the bottom of the stairs, one pointing to the door, the other blocking it. I had to punch myself to get one arm through the hoodie's sleeve, searching through the house trying to find them. "Stop shouting! I don't care what this is about, whose fault it is- Why is Ricky on the porch?"

Ricky, a young mind, extremely vulnerable to the ways of Tyler, brilliant in the middle floor, was now standing before the door with his eyes parallel, back straight, military status at ease. But it wasn't just him. Three more lined down the porch. Tyler waited until I reached him. I already was.

"Okay before you say anything, I would like to say something even more important-" he held my shoulders square. Jack, to the side, rubbed his temple and looked to Tyler as though he did something beyond what he should be doing. "You know I wore that hoodie to the liposuction clinic right? And our washing machine needs to be fixed again."

I just stared mindlessly.

"Why are they standing like that?"

"Like what?"

"You know what. Like this is some military base."

"No Devyn, not a military base, more like a space shuttle."

_A/N_

_What can I say? These men stay with me for a very very long time and sometimes, I get the urge to write them xD No matter the space between updates._

_Expect a deviantart for 6._


	6. Industrial Cigarette Burns

**.**

**6**

**Industrial Cigarette Burns**

Three days.

Each of those men have to stay on the porch for three days. No food, water, encouragement. Encouragement for what? No answer there. No explanations either. Space shuttle. He just left it at that. That's all I know except Tyler may be trying to build his own spaceship. The doctor who doesn't ask questions. There's the medical school title right there as I've said before. I'm not even sure if I knew half of who those guys were. Ricky, Angel, Bob, that's it. I'm surprised about Angel really, didn't he say he couldn't do a task? Guess this wasn't one of them. It's only been a few hours and there's double now. Three men on each side, facing each other, not blinking or breathing. I wanted to know, honestly I did but didn't really need to. Whatever Tyler was doing, it probably held his ingenious mark but yet there was something there that seemed foolish and dangerous.

Jack knew more than I did. Obviously he would. You could see Tyler's influence already marinating in his baked mind. He wasn't going to stop whatever this was. He was going to follow what they were doing. And naturally, I'll be reserved in the background, observing the outcome. Good or bad, I know I'll end up helping contain the damage. But how would an unemployed, newly poverty-stricken twenty-seven year old be helping two men with destructive lifestyles? Well, for some past examples: Jack had to swing by the emergency room for an injury I couldn't tend to because we weren't stocked with the right equipment. Tyler, sitting opposite of the working physician, seemed to make the staff believe he had hurt Jack personally. Lucky for all of us, I was coming back from the vending machines and just happened to overhear their conversation with the police. And with tons of medical terms mixed with avoidant fight club intelligence, I was able to convince them that our basement had unreliable steps built from ancient wood. Thus our clumsy Jack fell.

Successful execution.

But of course, this may be nothing compared to what's ahead. Something doesn't feel right. No choice but to wait and find out though. Go with the flow. The saying of my time here. It was true as well. The basement was an ancient tragedy just waiting to be welcomed into the modern world. It only needs to be redone from corner to corner.

And why do these toe socks feel wet and cold? Am I standing in dew? Oh no.

Tyler and Jack stayed in the vacant living room, soft whispers, timid movements, going over their member inventory most likely, while I waddled past the halls, swung open the basement door and re-entered their private gathering.

"Didn't either of you check the basement? It rained for two days straight."

They both looked up but only one nearly crashed into me. Jack moved just as fast, steadying the fall. I didn't even go half way but it was still nice for him to be cautious. He just gave a look and I accepted his questioning with reassurance. Tyler ran fast. He charged down the stairs. The loose railing clanked loudly against the brick wall as he did so. And soon after, a huge splash of water. "Shit!"

"Told you," I watched him squirm from how cold it felt. "Look how high the level is."

Jack squeezed between the door and gave the same expression I had on. An ordinary gaze. It happened all the time.

"Are you guys just going to stand there? Come on!" What did he expect us to do? He can shut the power off before we lose electricity for a week or so. A simple switch.

I took a shower with this going on? Electrocution had limited treatment options.

"I'm serious! Get down here."

A small sigh came from Jack before doing so. "Why are you acting like this? When it rains, we get water Tyler. Look, just switch it off-"

"I know what to do. Go move that wood over there to higher shelves."

Jack merely blinked.

"As in right now before they get ruined. It was the only wood I could find and it's the kind that cannot get wet. So move your ass!"

"Alright! I'm doing it. Devyn, don't come down here. It's slippery."

Too late.

I was already on the step just above the water. Tyler didn't even have his rubber boots on. "You know how dangerous that is right?"

He ignored the comment. There's no light and we don't have a clue where the flashlight is. A bit of sunless light lit the room though. Jack stood in the corner, purposely moving the wood as slowly as he could. Why is it down here anyway?

"Tyler-"

A huge spark blew from the fuse box, he jumped back into a karate stance. Nearly using such moves on me for I pulled him away further and examined his hands. The little firework display made obvious contact. And there it is: first degree burn.

He looked to his right hand, cringing as I touched the outer rim. It was shaped like a horse tail. Scorched strands breaking from the top and harsh middle circling the wrinkled center. The pain's nothing though compared to its neighbor: the acid mark. And yes, I was there when he did it to himself and to Jack. Story left for another time. For now, to work. It seems I can't go one day without tending to their skin.

"Jack, we're going for the aid kit," I pulled his hand, Tyler followed reluctantly. By force not choice.

"Don't leave til you get the wood up-"

"I got it Tyler," impatient snap. "Devyn?"

How did I even make it down here, I can't see anything.

"Yea?"

"You know where you're going to be later right?"

Didn't have to say anything, we were already set. Tyler didn't catch on. He was having just as much trouble with the steps as I was. I didn't want him to move his hand. This may not be a first rather a second degree burn depending on how long it takes to form. Either way, this is worst than my initial examination. Reached the top.

"Hey hey, where do you think you're going?"

"There's a new mixture I need to do now or it'll set too early."

"The soap can wait. Follow me to the bathroom so I don't have to make two trips-"

"No, I'm going to the kitchen. I don't need you to put anything on it. Do you think this," he pushed his hand into my face, a little too hastily, nearly resembling a threat. "Is nothing I haven't felt before? Go off and do whatever it is you do so I can do my own."

Excuse me?

"Enough with the macho talk, I know who I'm dealing with and you know who you're dealing with. So make it easy for the both of us and let me put a layer of Neosporin on," a simply grab to his wrist should do it. "This is why you have me here isn't it? If not than why am I here at all?"

He almost looked shocked I had said something so direct.

The point wasn't taken and I couldn't clarify it any more since Jack had slapped his hand on top of ours. "Leave her alone Tyler. It's not her fault you're being sued by the restaurant. She's not the one who needs to control her urine."

I dropped all three of our hands and looked between both.

Tyler nearly had to restrain himself from lunging forward. "I told you not to tell her! What the hell Jack!"

"What the hell are you _doing_ Tyler? Threatening her? Don't ever talk to her like that again. She doesn't deserve shit like this!"

"I'll tell you what she doesn't deserve, you clinging to her every minute of every day. At least I keep a reasonable distance. She practically ran from you today and what did you do? You kept going after her when she obviously wanted to be alone! This is why she comes to me because I let her be with herself while at the same time she's with a man who can acknowledge this fact."

What is this? Tyler wanting to outwit his brother in the ways of charming women or Jack trying to defend what I could easily do myself? Is there something missing here. The forgotten six astronauts standing just beyond the door, that's one. The sound travels more than they think.

And they haven't stopped. In fact, I could very easily leave and they would take no notice. And once again, I found myself saving their privacy and controversial lives with and against my will. Six monkeys, twelve hearing drums, one too many eyes, only one interference. There in the doorway, their backs straightened and jaws held stronger. Obviously, they thought I was a part of this and needed to act like they would with Tyler or Jack.

"You said you needed my advice?" Standing before the platinum mane isn't what I want to be doing at this moment. Especially in pajamas. But it's an escape. He kept the same stance, thinking this was a challenge to keep it. I merely took his hand, pulled, looked over every inch of the pathway before naming it safe enough to walk through and encouraged his words with a simple smile. "If you haven't guessed, I'm letting you be normal so you and I can chat. Don't worry about your masters or whatever you're calling them now, I'll explain. For now, you have until we've circled half this block so I'd start talking. This foot's letting me know it's there," and the last time I walked this block in pajamas with toe socks, let's just say it wasn't the best idea.

He stayed quiet, streaking his pale fingers through his hair, blue orbs purposely wandering the streets.

"Okay then," must be a psychological problem. He would have already told me the physicality by now. Break the ice. "Your name really isn't Angel Face is it?"

He smiled. "No," and stopped fidgeting. "But there are no names in Project-"

"Don't. I'm not here to talk about anything to do with Fight Club. I'm here for medical purposes only. So use what you've been given and save that information for someone who can afford to know."

Way to go. Let's lose it in front of some boy and have him spread the event around for Tyler and Jack to overhear. Cool it.

"I'm sorry, I always thought you were a part of the club's establishment and-"

"We've reached the lamp post-"

"Right, sorry. I'm rambling," he shook his head in embarrassment. "Jared. My name is Jared."

"Okay Jared, what's your problem?" the robotic phone operator voice has already taken control. I hope they've stopped arguing now, I would really like to go to bed early.

"Nothing. I mean, like I said before about the task- but that's about the club and you said- Yea. There is something else though since we have this time."

"Continue," you can still hear them. I closed the door too but it was back open for some reason.

"It doesn't pertain to anything medical. I just said that so we could somehow talk in private since you're usually not alone. Even when you come to the fights, you never seem to leave their side and they don't leave yours. But I don't blame them- I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to help you."

Can't hear them anymore. They may not even be in the house. All the windows were open and there's no movement. The men were still standing out there, none were talking or breathing, how are they going to stay like this for seventy-two hours?

"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

Where are they?

"Did you hear what I said?"

What?

We stopped, he cautiously placed himself in front, not wanting to repeat the first encounter. "I said I want to help you."

Did I miss something?

"I'm sorry?"

"Something's wrong with all of this. I mean you seem real comfortable with them but you, it's like you're forced to be here. Like you don't have a choice. On the outside everything seems fine but on the inside- When I first came to Fight Club, I became so enlightened by what fighting does for me. But then Tyler brought you in. At first you were so uneasy with the whole concept and even now, you can't watch. But when you and I, when we started talking while the other's fought, I liked it. I really liked it. I just- It seems like the only reason I go now is because there might be a chance that you'll be there," this is a mistake. "It may not seem like it but I come from a wealthy family. Money would never be an issue-"

"Alright, I need you to stop. I see what you're trying to do and it's really sweet and truly extraordinary but you're not seeing the whole picture. You say the outside seems fine? Well the inside is pretty much the same," I don't need this jumbled in with everything else. "If this is the only reason you came here then you need to leave," use a club reference. "Whatever this Project is, if you're not truly committed, Tyler will know and kick you out anyway. So please, do yourself a favor-"

Any harder and his nose would have broke.

"Damn it Jack! What are you doing!"

Jared held his nose hard, tapping for any blood. Some fell to the cement, close to where he was leaning. It was hard enough as to force him down to the pavement. Tyler waltzed behind his brother, patting Jared on the head and helping him to his feet. "Sorry about that. This one just had one of those urges, we all know what that feels like. Best not wait it out for another one so go to the porch and let the pain simmer down."

He only stood still, glancing to me for some sort of answer but I could only look to Jack with disappointment. Tyler smacked his backside towards the direction, sending him off and gathering both of us into his possession. One of those 'come with me before I drag you behind' grabs.

The back door was the concealed entrance. Silent and serious. Tyler left us by the stairs before jogging for the front door, slamming it shut, locking tight, grabbing us again with more force and moving at a pace we could both follow in. Location: a room we barely used besides stacking concrete. Why do they always pick the most depressing and unsanitary rooms to bring on their "Devyn, you're _our_slave" reminder? Exaggeration I know. No less than how I feel right now though.

"I didn't say punch him like you would Bob," Tyler kicked a pile over and watched it fall.

"You told him to hit Jared? And you actually did it?" back and forth. "What is wrong with you guys! We were just talking."

"Talking? Talking! Oh please, I knew what he was trying to do every time he'd seek you out in the club and sulk over like it was some mission of his," Jack hunched over, sitting himself on the easiest pile. "And since when is he _Jared_?"

"Since when do you do smack the hell out of whoever I'm talking to?"

"Strike that, I wanted to do it myself but Jack insisted it be him," Tyler crossed his arms, lit a cigarette and sat on the highest possible stack. "Which is a good thing because I probably would have dislocated something of his."

"Why?" I knew the answer. Never would they admit to such a hidden fact but jealousy is the hardest emotion to hide. Still though, this should have never been an issue. It's not something they would react to at all.

Don't lecture, I know you're pissed but just try to ease back. It's awkward when you try to with them. I need to sit down. They took all the available heights of course.

"We know who comes to the club, who they are in the world- What do you call it? Our member inventory?" Tyler snorts. "Cute," and jumps off, coming my way. I would have stayed if he hadn't thrown me into his arms. The smallest smack was just about to be enforced when the effort stopped midair. "You know that doesn't work with me." Jack watched closely as Tyler sat us on a wide bunch, adjacent his. How does he even do this? Their strength will never be understood.

Legs dangled across his, back against a somewhat sticky texture and immovable situation granted.

"Knowing who he is, is no reason to attack him for talking with me. What if it had something to do with medical reasons?"

"It didn't," Jack stretched his legs, placing his feet below where my hip was. "We know what he was saying to you-"

"Which is why I invited him to be the first member of the new chapter: Project Mayhem," Tyler straightened his posture with pride. "Keep your friends close and enemies closer."

Enemy? Oh please.

"You? Wait, Project Mayhem? You didn't tell me any of this," Jack stood. And so, the conversation about the eventful day has ended. Devyn is left with more questions kept locked in her don't-say-anything box and Tyler has allowed for his slave to move away from their sight and into another room. Which is more like an unspoken command since Fight Club has been mentioned. They wouldn't mind if I stayed actually, heard everything, but for the sake of future problems, I found it best to leave.

. . .

Tyler didn't get his way. I was in Jack's room tonight and staying. For how long? I could never guess. Right on this full-sized mattress. A little bigger than a twin even if the space felt the same. They called it a night once they noticed I was moving my pillow from one to the other's room. Don't know what happened after they saw but Tyler just walked past like normal. A quick glance, nothing more.

The bandages were out. I hated having any part of my body exposed to the cold. I have to be completely submerged in the blankets in order to fall asleep properly. But if I included my foot, it would come unraveled and I'd have to move to keep them on. I was too tired, too lazy to do anything. And there was Jack, every inch of his side sewn into mine. We couldn't really help it since the bed was made for one and a half of a person. He didn't mind of course. In fact, I think he would never go for anything above a mattress this size. I, on the other hand, could use the space. This was a luxury long forgotten in the land of complexity.

"You up?" He carefully turned over, remembering the last time he moved too fast. Fell right off, took me with him. It brought on hysterical laughter but ended in another Switzerland reminder. "I know you are."

Of course he did.

"How do you know?"

"In Devyn language: when you spend every minute of every day with someone, you tend to get to know them pretty well."

"That's not how I would say it-"

"Yes it is. Sarcasm and all-"

"Normally I would but right now, I'd just say because I know you or something simple. Sarcasm requires energy and I have none."

There was silence for awhile, the first image of a dream even came. Couldn't really understand what I was seeing but forgot it nonetheless.

"Then before you black out, we at least need to talk about some things."

In the yard, in the shower, past midnight, in bed. He chooses the worst places. If this was Tyler, he would have already been fast asleep, ignoring everything I was worried about and just had fun with the fact I was next to him.

"How about we sleep and talk in the morning."

"We won't be alone in the morning."

"I thought they needed to stay out there for the ingenious number of three days-"

"I'm talking about Tyler."

This better not be one of those nights where his insomnia kicks in again.

"What time is it?"

If it's what I think it is, this conversation will be long forgotten in the morning. Which means two very different things if I'm wrong. If it's early than he was going to try to get something out of this; if it's later than he was still comprehensible and I was in and out of sleep which meant he may or may not let me go completely.

"Late."

The goose feathers in his pillow crushed loudly. He probably slammed his head back into it. Frustrated. Either I couldn't find anything to say or was too tired to think of something. I could only turn over, watch him in the dark and wonder what to do. I didn't want him to be this way but if the table was turned and I was in his place, I'd probably act the same. Maybe worst. But then there's the male dominance issue that may have gotten to their heads and they brought it home. If the tables turn than it better turn in gender roles as well.

_A/N_

_There is a Deviant now xD At the bottom of my profile page. There's 2 actually but #1 is the best so go take a peek if you wish!_


	7. If a Woman is Really the Answer We Need

**.**

**7**

**If a Woman is Really the Answer We Need**

Curled in the crumbled sheets, arm stretched long towards the two brothers currently staring. Yes, it was a new day with new problems and new concerns. No, it wasn't a new day. It was the day. The last day for the Project Mayhem starters. Three days have already gone by and not without some trouble.

Tyler, a discouraged look upon his morning face, collapsed onto the bed, unknowingly bounced twice before landing. Just missing my arm if I hadn't coiled it away of course. Jack, in the same weariness, moved further into his room and purposely used this time to look over my bandages. Which were quite worn. We haven't gotten new supplies for awhile. His clammy hands began tending to the straps, undoing the night's work. Must have been an interesting experience because they were nearly tangled around each toe and pulled hard enough to cut off circulation.

Tyler's cerulean gaze pondered over my own ravishing morning appearance until asking. "Don't you want to know why your alarm's been personified?" morning breath seems to be stronger than usual today.

"No," I covered my mouth with the sheet. Unfortunately I cared about social hygiene. "I usually just go with this sort of thing. But if my real clock says it's super early, you're in big trouble."

"It's past noon," Jack set the last strap before pulling snug. "Does that feel better?"

I pulled myself up, elbows creasing the mattress, hands scraping against the few exposed springs. "Yea it does," the skin could breathe again. "I'm not too sure how they ended up like that but you fixed it perfectly."

He raised a brow before smiling politely. "I have sort of an idea."

"How?"

"You had one of your dreams but it was more violent. Don't know what was happening but it got you pretty riled up."

"What? What dreams?" Tyler sat up as well.

"It was that bad? It's never been that bad."

"I even had to keep you from falling off but the bandages were doing their own thing."

"Falling off?" an embarrassed chuckle. "Must have been an eventful night."

"_So_ I'm not the only one with vivid dreams," Tyler grabbed my pillow, tucked it beneath his chin, leaned his cheek into its corner and winked boyishly.

Took awhile to grasp the hinting but when I did. "Ugh Tyler! Come on, do you seriously think I would-"

"You can't always control your subconscious-"

"Oh please. If I had a subconscious like that, I would need a set of balls and a very active, very neglected imagination. Men have those dreams rarely do women-"

"What? No, Jack's had them on occasions so you can't limit this to gender. It's unfair to the sensitive types," he looked to his brother, joking charm getting nowhere. Jack had been preoccupied since his part of the conversation ended.

He stood by the window, looking upon our glorious neighborhood with a tired gaze. The porch specifically. "Are you sure about these sleeping arrangements?"

Tyler kept the pillow as he strut to the window. "Why do you think I got all that wood? Bunk beds hermano, bunk beds. They're almost done anyway," Jack merely nodded, accepting the idea without questioning more.

I wish I could say the same.

What's going to happen when they do complete these last hours? These last few hours. Their three days went faster than expected. Not the best days either. Am I going to be responsible for not just these two but the Mayhem crew as well? Sure they're capable of taking care of themselves but this is going to be a free live-in health clinic right above them. They haven't taken advantage before and they sure won't now since they know for sure I live with the founders. But still it's just the what-ifs getting to me. I can barely keep myself in a healthy status. And what about the food? We never have food here. Those are six grown men out there. Men. The only woman with a house full of men I barely know. Maybe Tyler should have spent more time thinking this through. And who's going to now?

Might as well have one question hanging before I leave them for the bathroom. Since yesterday wasn't a good cleaning at all. And this will definitely be the last day for clean water. Unless Tyler's somehow managed to pay the bill with his last paycheck from the restaurant. And Jack's career, let's just say it's not exactly on solid ground. His boss had him leave yesterday for blood stains left on his shirt. Washing machine's still broken.

"You want them to sleep on the bunks beds made from the wood that can't get wet in the basement? The target zone for rain?" it was a rhetorical question. "Uh huh." Rhetorical questions are allowed. With all those internal ones still swimming, there was room for this logical sliver.

They both managed to drag their attention away from the apprentices below and watch me waddle towards the bathroom. Must have been a sight because once I looked in the mirror, I felt a sudden rush of heat rise to my cheeks. They've seen what I look like in the mornings but this, this was a tad bit different. All that moving around last night did some damage. There's the ratty hair tangled in a giant mess of black twigs but then there's this: the tank top. Twisted to the side nearly revealing the deathly white skin where a bra's supposed to be. I try not to sleep in suffocating devices. Nothing important was exposed just that hinting tint of drastic color. But they saw and they knew what they were seeing.

. . .

There's been a constant banging via Tyler putting the final touches on the bunks. He obviously ignored my input earlier with the wetness and wood. And after fixing the embarrassing morning display, I've been sitting here bunched up against Jack. It seems since he saw the so called whiteness, he's been more comfortable with being close. Closer than usual.

He was in his pajamas consisting of a wife beater aka man tank and white boxers. And I was in something of a similar attire. Alright, so I'm wearing the exact same thing. And yes, it was Tyler's pair. The majority of my clothes were dirty so I stole one of his clean ones. The color was different though. Black tank, black boxers.

Maybe I should use this. He's calm, affectionate and pretty comfortable in this position. And I need to get this out now or it'll never happen.

"Jack."

"Yea?" He looked up from his stale cheerios almost too quickly. Like he was waiting impatiently for me to say something first.

"I need to tell you- To ask you something," I leaned further back, arms crossed, legs stretched beneath the table, toes curling around the leg of another chair. Start with a more laughable intro for both parties. "Sometimes I feel like I have to remind you guys what my gender is and you know, all the aspects that come with it."

"Are you serious? Do you have any idea just how much I have to remind myself not to think of your gender?"

Now get into the serious stuff. "It's been almost four months," and yes I'm avoiding his previous inquiring. For a reason. "Since I've moved here. And there's something that's been bothering me. No, not bothering, more like pondering." Took a moment for him to digest. Just come out with it. "When are you guys going to set up a room of my own?" Good, that's enough. This one question is enough. But I didn't listen, I had to be myself and stick sarcasm in. "You know, like a room without testosterone overlooking estrogen?" Sarcasm won't help relieve anything.

And it didn't.

He's not taking this well at all. Before he could say what he would probably need to hold back, I said. "I'm just saying that yes, I am a woman and with me being a woman, comes some privacy aspects. Boundaries really. Not drastic changes, I don't want to change anything. Just to have my own space. I want to have time for myself now and then." Too fast. You're talking way too fast. But he got the picture.

And took it wrong.

"Alright," he set his spoon into the plastic-ware with extra care as if he was planning to throw it all into the beckoning wall or plunge his fist into it. His previous mood I had so relied on maintaining is gone. "Since this is important to you, I'll find another room and clear it out." He's losing patience and fast. I've hit a very sensitive subject for him and he's going to show just how much it is.

I moved. Possibly too soon. He kept his eyes to the bowl as I did so.

Gliding the walls before leaning into a decaying strip of wallpaper, Jack had moved the same, only adjacent mine. "Does that sound alright to you?"

Those dark circles have almost turned black. Not gray or purple but black. Like a character Tim Burton would create and by this particular man and situation: Sweeney Todd would be all but perfect to match.

Speak with caution. "Yes." One word, one wrongful mistake. Beneath his shaded gaze came an obvious discontent: a twitch.

I've hurt him.

"Good," there it is. He lost. "And while I'm at it, why don't I write you something to go along with this new change. It is what I'm good at: writing. Why not use the only talent I have to make you an artistic poster. A big poster that says Devyn's Own Personal Room of Use: Fuck Off Jack. That would say it all wouldn't it? We could always ask Tyler his thoughts. We wouldn't want him to miss out on this decisive discussion. Oh wait look," he slapped his hand onto the counter. Dragging something beneath before flipping it out. "A permanent marker! God this is perfect isn't it? Now I can add Tyler's name right next to yours."

He threw it across the room and kicked one of the chairs so hard as to crack its legs in half from the table collision. All the while, I stood very still and watched.

I had gone too far.

Yes, it was an understandable subject between different roommate sexes. I needed my own room since the beginning but why did it take this long to say it? This is why.

I left him there, standing in the kitchen with a slash of black ink across his palm. The top was missing. He only looked to the chair, wouldn't dare look up. He lost that separation between Tyler and himself.

That unpredictable nature he's always objected. The long build up of steam blown into particles. It was healthy to do so, I know that, but all the same when it's directed to you. It hurts. You're the one who brought it on, not him. Some would say he overreacted, that some of what Tyler says about Jack's sensitive side was true, but it's not. This wasn't an overreaction, this was completely reasonable for him to act like this. I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner.

Where else could I go?

It was going to infuriate him more but I couldn't help it. It's sort of like the same concept when one family member yells at you, you scurry to the closest one who either has no idea what had just happened or would comfort you no matter what you did.

Tyler wasn't either of those but I went to him anyway.

They were done. Three bunk beds lined the gray brick walls. Six beds total. Tyler leaned between two of them, dropping the hammer by his feet. As soon as it thumped, I plopped down on one of the steps. He looked just when Jack did before our conversation started. Let's hope this doesn't turn out the same.

"Did you guys finally have it out from all that tension building up this past week? It sounded like you beat him up pretty good up there. I won't say he deserved it but with his so called 'career break' with the blood stain incident, maybe slapping him around would do some good."

It won't. This is Tyler.

"_Career break_," snorts louder than he probably wanted. "Laid off is more like it. Maybe he should focus more on getting laid on. What do you say Devyn, want to help me find our boy a quick-one?"

"Tyler-"

"Alright, so maybe he's more of a long-term kind of guy. Maybe a quick-one's asking too much. How about-"

"Tyler!"

"What?"

"I want to stay with you for awhile."

He stood straighter, an impressed brow raise following. "_Excuse_ me?"

"Don't make this unpleasant. It's already harder than you'd usually strive for," he kicked the hammer aside and sprawled himself across the step before mine. "I know you heard what Jack and I were talking about. You also know that the chance of you guys giving me my own room, physically being separate from your rooms, would be less than none. So I'm asking you, even though I already know the answer-"

"Alright... You know I can't resist your savvy persuasive skills-"

"I'm not asking that-"

"I'm not answering _that_. You're staying with me, this we established. So yes, I will get your stuff and be oh so cryptic with the whole thing so Jack doesn't go ballistic when he finds out. You'll tell him in your own debonair way," he slapped my good foot and squeezed a little too enthusiastically.

"Don't look so proud of yourself Tyler. This isn't what you think-"

"Oh please, it's exactly what I think. Just be happy it's me you're stuck with now and not, well you know," he hopped on his feet, taking me with him. "I was planning on setting you up with me anyway before Mayhem proceeds. Those may be club members out there but they're still men. And believe it or not I trust myself with Devyn duty more than I do Jack." We reached the top. "So before we proceed with said plans, we have a little announcement to make with our applicants outside. An initiation rather."

_A/N_

_Yesh like I said. They stick with me. Can you blame? Did you like? Do you crave more?_


	8. Who'd You Fight

**.**

**8**

**Who'd You Fight**

One by one they poured into the house without another word. Few happened to notice the shadowed black mold growing into the wallpaper while the rest marched along as though they were leaving their death beds and entering the gates of Elysium. Let's just say I've been somewhat hidden behind the door throughout his little introduction, watching their spirits lift high the moment they heard the words: _Get inside already_. And now, I've become a tumor infecting Tyler's backside. A higher rank than mold wouldn't you say?

Why I was acting like this when I usually stand proud in some corner was beyond me. Sure, during club fights I was both their shadows but I'm home. This, unfortunately, is in fact my home. And now I'm behaving like an insecure puppy barely able to leave her master's side if only to breathe _in her own home_.

Jared was the last to stroll in. Eyes down, following like the obedient member he is. There was a small redness that lightly stained the brim of his nose but was tinted so faint as to blend in with the rest of the pigmentation.

"Angel boy!"

He snapped his neck.

"Yes you."

I was so close to warning him not to do something I'll later regret. But instead Tyler grabbed my hand, forced the safe, comfortable hiding place away and attached me right into his stiff side out in the open battlefield as if he wanted to emphasize who held the most control. Can't he just wait until I'm somewhere else?

"You don't have to follow them. We're not shaving off that lovely mane of yours just yet. So go ahead downstairs and set your stuff on a bunk."

He merely nodded but such a controlled gesture meant Tyler had intimidated him to an impressive rank. And he didn't even need to do anything. All he has to do is stand here. I thought it was going to be one of his morphemic warnings to simply say, keep your distance. But it wasn't, it was this polite request that gave an even greater effect. Of course, my being by his side might have added to it but still, you never know just how powerful an influence Tyler can have.

We watched until he disappeared into the basement, rather we waited until he was gone to notice Jack from behind. Who was peering into the bathroom, probably just now noticing six men cramped in there, taking turns with the new electric razor Tyler bought. The sink is going to be filled to the pipes with hair. No one uses this one anyway but still. This would be the perfect time to move my stuff but Tyler looks like he's not even thinking about that.

He can go up to Jack's room, move everything while I stay down here. Which may be hard from what happened earlier.

But maybe_ I_ should go do it, they're both down here now, occupied, if I can just get my arm- "Tyler, can you let go?" He tore his focus away from Jack and gave an _oh, sorry_ expression but didn't react as such when Ricky stepped out to the hall.

His newly shaved head was completely cleared of the messy brown waves toppled above. He swept his hand over the exposed scalp repeatedly as though the friction would help it grow faster. Until resting his arm neatly by his side as though he sensed the tension radiating between us. But he simply smiled sheepishly and made his way to the basement. Except this smile was different than what I expected.

It was freedom. He looked so... happy.

He was free from his previous life. Well, technically from his hair but still. That smile meant he felt free and Tyler gave it to him. To them.

The razor started up again from whomever was next.

And there it was. A revelation of sorts.

For me to step aside, forget what's going to happen, and just let it. Whatever this is, Tyler has a plan. A plan that seems to be making a lot of these men happy. Who am I to judge its outcome or even its course? I had it right before, to wait in the sidelines until I'm needed. It got me four months of having a home and truthfully, having Tyler and Jack. Even though the tension is great, we're still close, an unnerved friendship. It may be an understatement for what they really are but an understanding to free myself from everything I've been burdened with. I'm done with it.

And now, after marveling about such a revelation, another such thing came. Which I would have rather it stayed tucked inside tight, where I would never have to face it. But it came. Tyler was the one who sparked this carefree feeling. It was with Jack where I felt stressed and just plain uptight. I feel free with Tyler, accepting and comfortable but... now I know I've always felt like that with him.

I can't afford to know these things.

It was like trying to run on a balance beam. There's the side you could fall to a pillow or the side you could fall to the ground. Unfortunately, I would fall right between the two. Head on the pillow, feet in the mud.

Speaking of running, I should really be running upstairs to change. I'm glad for this but no one noticed that for one moment, when Ricky came out, and looked between us, his gaze stayed on my attire a bit too long. Which I don't blame him. I'd probably stare at the lunatic woman too who wore men's boxers and a barely appropriate wife-beater which clung loosely to her top half. A mere tragedy. I'm not for propriety or anything, I just think if my cheeks were to become anymore heated today, it will stay in a ruby dimension for all eternity.

"I'm going to change into something," no pun should be implied. "Warmer."

"I'll help you," Tyler took off before I could decline such a remark. He moved us faster than the razor was flying to the next eager member gripping his hair one last time before starting anew. He would have flung me over his shoulder if he could but I was more than stubborn about him not doing so. The wound crushing beneath my pounding feet, it's healed pretty well. He wasn't going that fast anyway. It was endurable to say the least.

"If you don't stop pulling, my arm will rip clear out of its socket! I think I'm more than capable of doing this on my own. Ow! Tyler!" We were already tripping over the many clothes that dominated the floor somewhere beneath.

"Will you be quiet? How else are we going to do this?"

"Do what?" I looked out in the hall before closing the door quietly.

"Move your stuff of course," Tyler's middle schooler voice had graced our presence once again with the immature prism attached. Only he could get away with this.

"Does the word _secrecy_ mean anything to you? Whatever happened to your phrase, _be oh so cryptic about it?_ This is not cryptic. We should wait until he's someplace else instead of just downstairs. And will you put my underwear down?"

"Relax," he bent over, scrounging through the mess with such prestige that I would have thought he had a device stuck to his fingers that separated my stuff from Jack's. Every item he picked up was mine. He didn't care that none of it had been cleaned for- I'm too afraid to say. He was at work and he meant what he was doing. There was already a rather large pile tucked compactly beneath his arm. Before it became too intimidating though, he reopened the door, strut across the hall, launched all the clothes into his room and waltzed back without even looking if the coast was clear. Starting the mission over.

I merely watched my clothes rain over his dresser, mattress and floorboards in all its majestic chaos. I'm not cleaning that up.

Before I knew it, he snatched my pillow, picking up my foot, grabbing the pair of jeans I had been standing on and catapulted the last remaining possession over his shoulder and left for new territory. And yes, I was the last remaining possession. Good thing I knew what he was going to do because I might have taken us both down from a resistant and rebellious maneuver. And such a loud boom might have sprung the beauty bloomers and Jack up here.

Such an awkward encounter is better left avoided.

He did it.

I can't believe he did all that and still, no one had noticed. The mattress creaked sharply as though it were in pain from how heavy I fell on it. Tyler threw himself in the air shortly after dropping the dead weight, plummeting even harder than I did. Both of us now paralyzed on the pathetic make of a material barely thick enough to call itself a bed. He stared at the ceiling, hand on his chest, head on the pillow-less edge and mind somewhere drifting in a proud, arrogant region only he held the power to rule.

"Told you," he flipped to his side, supporting his neck by mere fingertips. "Didn't I tell you? I did didn't I? Come on, I want to hear it," his other hand cupped his ear as though it would help hear the vacant response I was too keen on not answering. He narrowed his gaze. "I don't think I caught that Devyn. You'll have to speak a little louder."

"You do realize when Jack goes into his room, he'll see what we did? And I don't think your excuse of hiring a temporary house maid is going to cut it."

"No I didn't think so either but I thought you already had that covered with your _debonair_ plan?"

"You only assumed I had one."

"Well make one then," he reached his arm over head, blindly searching for something on the floor. His armpit in full view, very close to my nostrils I might add. But it wasn't at all like our morning breath curse, a fume of men's Axe deodorant consumed the air I meant to breathe but now couldn't without this scent. Of course, we all know the superficial commercials, about how women stampede through dense jungles half-naked in search for the somewhat decent-looking man soaking Axe body spray all over his chest, is far from the dull, unadventurous reality.

Though, I still couldn't help but to let the nice aroma linger. Nothing like the self-degrading commercials however, it was rather a grateful response for him not smelling like an ape when ramming his pits near my face. He soon closed his arm with an old pack of cigarettes invading his palm. "You don't have much time. Any minute Jack's going to walk up those stairs and know something's been going on with his Spidey senses. Better get a move on with that plan of yours."

I had a perfect combat for that but lost it almost immediately after Tyler squirmed jerkily before lifting his shirt off, crumbling it into a ball and tossing it beyond my perception since I was absorbed in something else. His muscles were even more defined than the last time I was faced with it let alone his chest was glistening with an irreparable shine. He couldn't have gotten a full workout just from that could he? He did move pretty fast. And it showed. His sweat was streaming somewhat erotically along the middle of his core and collecting just above his pelvis.

And _they_ were already responding to this without obeying the strict order never to do so! The indomitable pulse flutters in my nether regions were in obvious madness. And a delectable warmth was tearing and ripping in strides of boiling tendencies. No- Think of road kill, think of Bob's man boobs, don't you dare. After all this time, there's no way you can for once think of pursuing this image let alone this reaction! I'm not blind. I've always been aware of the fact that these men, Tyler undoubtedly, are extremely attractive. But have limited myself so much as to avoid any type of reaction or feeling that they've all at once mutinied upon me. And when he's lying here, like that, next to me. Oh god-

"Devyn?"

And to see what I was about to confront was enough to be imprisoned forever in the ruby kingdom. He was smiling. Not indecently, not insinuating but amusingly. Which is worst than any of those. He knew what I was thinking, what I was observing and he knew exactly what he was going to do about it. But I was far from knowing what.

"Why do you always fight?" he didn't move, didn't graze, he only said this.

No amusement? Suggestions? Promiscuous endeavors? This was a serious question. From him. Now? Of course now. How long have I wanted this to happen? To have an actual conversation about- things. And I knew exactly how and what to answer with. Couldn't help it really. All those times of thinking what I would say, what he would say. But knowing him, it might not last. In fact, this could just be a way for him to do what he needs to. The night, when we got too close? The night that changed everything? It was just like this.

We were both sprawled out on this bed. Staring at the ceiling. Breathing in long, rhythmic patterns. His hand rest neatly across my stomach. Wrapped in layers upon layers of thick gauze. Gentle gauze that wouldn't bring any more pain than what was beneath.

It's enlightenment he says. To complete rapture. Fulfillment. To accept the reality that they are nowhere near being special. That what teachers and parents have said about how you can be what you've always wanted to be is bullshit. That the answer is far from how it truly turns out. At least that's as far as I understood what Tyler was saying over the rushing heat pouring into my ears like a vile of heated lye. I've never been so frantic as I charged through the house, slipping across the floors to witness the final scene of Jack kneeling across the table while Tyler held his arm. The smell of burning flesh had taken the whole kitchen like an overused candle spit. Jack, barely able to keep his eyes open for the pain was too blinding but he still managed a simple _Okay_. And then was drenched in vinegar soon after. He collapsed, staring up at the one person who was there to do more for him than he ever deserved.

I did everything I could think of. Especially for never tending to a wound like that. He passed out soon after he hit the floor, soon after looking at my terrified gaze. Tyler said to leave him, leave him so when he wakes he'd know exactly what happened. "The best thing he's ever gone through," he says. But I already had the medical supplies down, dropped to my knees and worked hard on him before Tyler practically dragged me away before insisting his brother stay unconscious on the floor.

I was holding onto him. Looking over the dilapidated roof with a hard gaze. So hard as to stay the same for quite sometime. Tyler wanted his hand back but I wouldn't let him. I couldn't let go. Shortly before he did that to Jack, he did it to his own hand. I had only walked through the back door with Jack following after. We went for a walk, to get away but when we got back, Tyler had his hand plunged into a bucket of thick liquid. Turned red from the muddled influence of an abrasion. He bore a look written deep across his face that even Jack didn't understand let alone for me to quiet the sudden hysteria as I sprinted upstairs, searching through everything. I couldn't find the supply kit but when I finally did, it was too late. The chemical burn was already eating away Jack's own skin long before I could reach his painful shouts.

Jack's unconscious state didn't last long because he stood before Tyler's doorway. Staring at the position we were in. Tyler's mouth ravaging my neck, both his wounded and untarnished hands exploring everything beneath his own bod, and I let him. I let him take control as I lay beneath him. It wasn't at all as graphic as would be exaggerated. Our clothes were still on, some material was ripped but there wasn't anything other than the animosity of Tyler's desire. And some of my own animalistic behavior, I did kiss him back and I did touch him but soon seized everything. I saw him standing there as though we had betrayed everything he wanted, everything he lived for. Tyler merely sat up, straddling my waist, he smiled like he usually did and said the one thing that brought his jaw into a tear-fast collision with Jack's fist. "Could you close the door?"

And now, out of everything we've gone through, he's finally serious? He's looking into me with such determination and an almost desperate need for some type of answer. Which I had yet to give. Why do I always fight? Why do I always fight_ him_?

"Do I?"

Yes but how can I fight for what I can never have?

"The only thing I know is I can't seem to get that little spute we had out of my head. You know, after the spark blew? You probably thought I wouldn't even hear you. That I wouldn't even think about what you said. Well you're dead wrong Devyn. You did a number on me."

This was Tyler's voice, his choice of words yet this wasn't him. He wouldn't be so, dare I say, longing?

This is what I was afraid of. I should have never said it. Never so much as uttered the one question that's ruled my world from the start of their hierarchy. Why do they have me? Here at all- Why do they even have me here at all- But I said this! And I was so very close, with a mere wrinkle of a blanket separating me, from the one who couldn't forget that I had.


End file.
